For the heart

“For the heart, life is simple: it beats for as long as it can. Then it stops.”

Karl Ove Knausgård

we are learning to make fire

so, the 4th of july is recording day.  hopefully that will result in the final 2 tracks of the album taking shape.  and once they have taken shape.  it will be time to tinker then find somebody to mix the record.  it’s been a long process and, at times, i have come close to scrapping it all and starting again.  but then something will happen and i will find new, fresh impetus that makes it all feel worth the slog.  i guess, as an artist, you go through these periods of self doubt where everything sounds like it just is not good enough.  well i do.

at this moment, the record is going to be 10 tracks in length.  it is titled ‘paint the devil on the wall and the devil will come’ and you can hear the first track from the album ‘the last foundations’ over at my soundcloud page  i hope that you like it and it whets the appetite for the record itself.

now comes the tricky job of funding the record.  if i can find a label to release it then great.  if not, i cam thinking i will have to do it all myself.  as such, i am going to put up a wee EP on the bandcamp page.  for a small fee, you can help me raise some money to generate the funds to make this record a reality.  it will be 4 tracks long, maybe 5.

anyways, for now, i am going to put my headphones on and listen to some tunes.  work has sort of started on graveyard tapes album three – so i might work on some vocal ideas as i work.

keep your eyes open for the EP and more album news soon.

 

 

lyrics

had a few requests for lyrics for burning sorrows.

 

your eyes go black

you’re cold withdrawn

and i’m left standing here

wondering where we’ve gone

all i want

is to heal this soul

your lungs fill up

your heart grows old

and from this tightrope i

am afraid to fall

back into the dark i knew

back into the cold

with these last words

i cannot recall

i cannot remember

your face at all

 

and the lines go dead

and the voices will die

strangers stuck in a film

moments frozen in time

and the smoke from your cigarette

burns the light from your eyes

i will try and remember you

through the eyes of a child.

 

your eyes go black

so, it’s been ages since i posted.  life gets in the way. 

album two continues to excite and frustrate in equal measure.  feels like it’s been in the making for so long.  sometimes i lose perspective.  not sure what is good and what is not anymore.  it’s hard to stay focused and keep believing that this process will ever reach an end.  progress has been made but it is slow going.  very slow.  and sometimes that is hard to deal with too.  and then there is the unknown.   where will this record end up?  will any label want it?  why would they?  thinking of doing a kickstarter campaign to try to ensure that this record gets a release one way or another.  but then who would care about that?  it’s been 4 years since the first kays record.  too long in between.  nobody is listening/paying attention anymore. 

sometimes it just feels difficult to find the point in keeping on going.

propulsion

it’s funny.  i have been sitting with this stuff for so long.  it’s been kind of like treading water.  a little.  and at times it’s been hugely frustrating and at other times hugely rewarding.  sometimes you are surprised by how things happen.  that’s kind of what has happened with the last 3 tracks.  one sort of happened because of my little orange amp making amazing noises when the overdrive is on.  the other two happened because my little boy soren was fascinated by my drum machine.  three tracks.  no piano in site.  wow.  i love when i can break away from the piano and write in unconventional ways.  that’s happened a fair bit on this record to be honest.  so it’s a very different beast from ‘be still this gentle morning’.  and that’s a good thing.  it’s also very different from the graveyard tapes stuff too.  although no doubt there will be comparisons because it’s my voice.  hard to avoid that.  at least i don’t sound like thom yorke!

i don’t know when this record will be done.i pretty much have all the tracks now i think.  plus some extras for other purposes.  so it’s a good feeling to know that finally i kind of know where it’s going.  should be done by early 2014 i hope.  that’s the target anyways.

meanwhile the graveyard tapes second album is all but done.  matt is mixing it at the moment.  sounding very different from ‘our sound is our wound’ so it may be a shock to some people.  we have an EP entitled ‘the price of ambition’ to precede the release of album two as well.  so we’ve been busy on that front.  as always, the process of working with matt has been really enjoyable, challenging and rewarding.  i do think the kays record will be better for the things i have learned working with him.  and working with talvihorros on the gtapes record has also been awesome.  the improv session we did as a 3 at the reid hall was hugely valuable and actually generated 3 of the 9 album tracks – which was awesome.

so.  do keep an eye out.  there will be more news on the kays stuff soon i hope.  certainly sooner than i had anticipated.  thanks to a wee stroke of luck.  nice surprises.  the best kind.

the last foundations

so it’s been a wee while.  the album kind of stuttered to a brief halt as glacis and graveyard tapes took priority but things are gathering momentum.  realising that what some of the songs need is to be played live,  to breathe and grow,  i have enlisted the help of some musical friends. we are going to meet up and work on the songs in a live setting – not gigs, just practice space – and see where this takes them.  a good number of the songs are actually in the shape i want them to be.  but some haven’t even been recorded as demo’s.  mainly because these songs were written on the guitar – or with the guitar in mind.  still, i might yet end up recording them on piano and seeing where this takes them because it can really send a tune in a very different direction.

as the songs grow and develop i am beginning to understand the themes and feelings pouring out of me.  it’s kind of nice to realise where it’s coming from and what it’s all about.  but i won’t be sharing any of that stuff.  i think it’s much more interesting to let the audience interpret things however they choose to.  makes for a more personal experience.   i did the whole ‘this song is about…’ with ‘be still this gentle morning’ and i regret that very much.  i don’t need people to know what my songs are about.  i just want people to enjoy them and make them mean something to them.  that’s the beauty of art for me.  i missed that point with the last record.  won’t make the same mistake twice.

so it’s time to keep moving forward.  hopefully the recording will be done by early 2013.  that’s the plan.  and if i’m lucky i will have a new record out only 3 years after the debut.  we shall see.  no promises.  only ambitions.

the things you’ve seen

spent sunday at the university recording with ana roman on a lovely upright piano.  exactly what was needed.  got two more tracks down so i only have 3 to really get started and then all tracks will be in various states of disrepair for me to work on throughout the year.  my friends from around the globe are kindly lending their talents to the album so there is already cello from the czech republic and i’m expecting guitar from france and vocals/cello from berlin in the near future.  which is magic.  i am also expecting vocals from belgium and possibly some dark, atmospheric magic from sweden.  so it really is becoming a very world wide record.  may have to approach my friends in canada, england and the usa as well.  who knows.  it’s a great feeling though.

stumbled upon a very old song i’m planning on re-working for the record.  wrote it over 8 years ago.  dates back to when i lived in dundee actually.  feel like it deserves a make over.  so we shall see.  changed the words.  found a poem by robert graves and played with the words to form the lyrics of the song.  think it will work well.  have a good idea of how it should sound.

also found these words i wrote.  think i might try and turn them into a song sometime soon:

i can feel your skin

crawling across the floor

scratching at the door frame

searching for an answer

and my eyes

burning red like candles

flickering with doubt

it takes all our strength

to find an answer

 

but the wounds still remain

 

i can never find

errors in the you i know

but errors in the me

i know you love and still

my skin

burning red like fire

quivering with doubt

it takes all my strength

just to slow love

edinburgh university

going to be recording this time next sunday.  will make sure to take some pics of the session and post them here.  must remember this!

morning sun

it’s been a while since i posted here.  been busy with various musical bits and pieces.  sometimes life gets in the way too.  things are progressing with the record.  laid down some scratchy rough guide vocals and sent some tunes to my friends and accomplices scattered around the world.  bit by bit this record is going to come together.  slowly, yes.  but it will come together in a way that is exciting to me.  it’s a very different approach to anything i’ve ever done before but it feels right.  feels like the right way to do things.  involving these people who have become so important to me as friends, musicians, inspiration is something that just fits.  i don’t know.  i’ve not even met some of these people in person.  some i have only had flitting contact with other than by e-mail.  and yet, it feels like a group of people passionate about being part of something musical and wonderful.  and it feels so good to share with them and have them share back.  this process will result in a record that is wide in its artistic background.  diverse in its approach to each track.  and will all be pulled together in the end by myself and my good friend matt.  i have most of the tracks written.  a few more to finish.   i hope, like my most recent song states that it won’t come undone, in the morning sun.  i hope that come this time next year it has been released in to the wider world and these tracks that have been born in my head will have a chance to grow.  thanks to the brilliance of others.  and then we will all have this one record that ties us together.  no matter what happens.  it’s a nice feeling.

hiding in ditches

things have progressed a little kays wise.  tokyo, a track i wrote before we recorded ‘be still this gentle morning’ has been recorded  and reworked.  the wonderful guy gelem has added strings to the track which sounds amazing.  this means that the main bones of ‘all these moments die’, ‘tokyo’ and ‘hiding in ditches’ are now done.  my determination to ensure that the record is not dominated by piano lead tracks means that there is a lot of work to do on the other tracks.  but that’s exciting.  hopefully will have a session at edinburgh university this coming sunday, which should see at least two tracks recorded properly on organ and if i can get matt to record the bones of another few on piano then we can strip the piano out and change it to guitar and other instruments at our leisure.  so yeah, all systems go on the new kays record.  plus, i had some lovely folk get in touch with me for an interview.  been a while since anyone really cared about what i did, so was nice to be asked some questions and to know there is still interest in what i do and the kays in particular.

on that note a track from the second album entitled ‘hiding in ditches’ will be available from the mini50 bandcamp page on Friday 16^th march for one day only.  it will be there and then gone.  so grab a listen while you can.

in other news, the graveyard tapes record is very close to being finished and should be mastered soon too.  it’s good to have that done.  something very positive musically for me personally.  been a great experience working with matt.  so having him on board to mix the kays record makes perfect sense to me.  also going to be getting some hiva oa help and caught in the wake forever help also so that’s good.  lots to work on and develop, so it’s nice to do it with people who I respect the most musically.